Rooted. This is the focus word at our church this year and this sermon series has seemed like it was written specifically for me, especially last week’s sermon which just so happened to be from a guest preacher from the States!
He talked about how much the bible talks about suffering. The focus passage was Philippians 1: 12-30. Paul wrote Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon from prison, yet his circumstances were a great benefit to believers in many places as well as to people who may have never heard the gospel otherwise.
Paul also talks a lot about joy in the midst of suffering because our hope is in Christ and we trust that He is working all things to the good of those who love Him and to bring glory to His name. And although I know these things in my mind, it is extremely difficult to feel joy in the midst of suffering. Maybe that is something the Lord has been working on in me in this season.
I just finished reading the book, Be Still My Soul, by Elizabeth Elliot which talks a lot about suffering from a woman who has really lived it. Some of the things she said in the last few pages really spoke to me. I will paraphrase it because I’m reading the Spanish version.
What really counts is our response. It isn’t about what happens to us, but the way in which we respond and how we seek God to find strength and guidance.
She then talks about the thieves on the crosses beside Jesus. Each had a very different response. One responded in repentance and the other mocked Him. Elizabeth wrote:
The circumstances didn’t change. Both thieves continued agonizing, hanging on their crosses. But their responses made all the difference.
She then goes on to say:
Day after day, Christ’s character forms in me amidst life’s circumstances, because these circumstances are the visible evidence of the will of God. An all loving and all knowing Father assigned everything I have to me, measuring it carefully to achieve a holy transformation. To love God is to love His will.
We can see suffering as a gift because we know that the Lord is using it for our good and His glory. We can see it as a gift because He is using it to make us more like Him. We can see it as a gift because it makes us realize just how much we need Him and pushes us to depend on Him more and more. We can see it as a gift because He comes near us in the lowest of places. He doesn’t shy away from suffering. He meets us in it. We can see it as a gift because He is drawing us to Himself through it. And I can say that looking back on this last year, He has done all of these things and revealed Himself to me in new ways.
So, what if all along this has been one of my holiest seasons yet? What if it has allowed me to encounter the Lord’s faithfulness in new ways? What if it has made my roots in Him grow deeper and stronger? This season has been an extremely difficult one to walk through, but one thing I can say is true: that the Lord didn’t abandon me even for a second. Even when I couldn’t see or feel His presence, He had me completely wrapped up in His grace.
Having Christian and Madison here to share in the work load has relieved me of so much pressure and I’m very thankful to have them here. However, there are patterns and habits that have developed out of the pressures I’ve felt over the last year that are going to take some time to work through and break. I have started meeting with a biblical counselor for missionaries weekly and I have a huge opportunity for some soul care coming up that I’m really excited about. I applied for an in person retreat through Velvet Ashes and was one of 24 women serving globally to participate. The retreat is in Tuscany, Italy, in April and I think this opportunity to disconnect, spend intentional time with the Lord, and get to speak with other women in the mission field will be so good for me. They reached out to me a couple weeks ago and asked how they could be praying for me specifically over the next few months leading up to the retreat which was so special to me because of how intentional they are to care for women in ministry abroad.
I definitely feel like I’m moving in the right direction towards healing my mind and body from burnout and I know the Lord is in this process with me. Charles Spurgeon once said, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.” I can’t say that I have fully learned this, but I’m definitely learning to.
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January happenings:
- We started off the New Year at church and then had some friends over to Kelsi’s afterwards!
- Madison, Christian, and I took a salsa class!
- One of the baseball players my family used to sponsor from the Hickory Crawdads was in Bani visiting his family and came to spend the day with me in San Juan!
- One of the ladies from the Archbold team cut 6 inches off my hair! She also helped me wall paper my closet! One of the guys from that team hung some light fixtures I got at Ikea on black Friday, too! I’ve really been working on making my room feel more cozy and homey and I really love how it’s turned out!
- I took some family photos for some friends who are about to have another baby next week!
- I’ve played volleyball a couple of times this month!
- The teams we’ve hosted have been great! It has been so sweet to see so many familiar faces!
- Peanut is as cute as ever <3
Prayer requests:
- Continued healing for my mind and body from the burnout
- Get back into a routine of prioritizing my time with the Lord and really guarding it
- For my heart to be prepared for the retreat in April and that it would be some good, sweet time with the Lord to help me come back with a renewed passion for serving here
- Continued health and safety for my family
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